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Certificate of Appreciation

by Corey Loveless

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1.
I built a boat that could change my life Tryna tread waters they did me wrong fore I could get it right Blowing stress right out the window I’ll smoke the whole zip fore they make me lose my temper You won’t ever see me fall apart Ten toes down til I’m six feet below the rocks I poured the whiskey shots right on the top Saw myself sinking fore I even had left the dock I never said I was a sailor I never said I was a sailor Three holes in the boat my crew swimming in my failure I never said I was a sailor I never said I was a sailor Three holes in the boat im findin more as I panic I never said I was a sailor I guess Im learnin as I go burned at every turn I’m just reaping what I sow The world froze ya now your shoulders turn all my tears to snow Trust em with the boat theyll sink it just to gloat I guess They always do I feel the grief get to mourning when I talk to you I let you captain now you actin like you own it too Ill call it practice this a lesson that was over due I never said I was a sailor I never said I was a sailor Three holes in the boat my crew swimming in my failure I never said I was a sailor I never said I was a sailor Three holes in the boat im findin more as I panic I never said I was a fuck it I guess im learning as I go learned to love myself now i see who don’t That’s a breathe of fresh air cold H2O Never said I was a sailor but it’s my damn boat pull that bitch right out the bay for us To board our compass best have the same morals I guess I’m not a sailor Three holes in the boat watch the captain patch the damage
2.
home 01:13
Comin to grips with shit I minimized Like…Who leaves their child with a pedophile A man choked me in front my mother I thought I was safe the whole time Police here to arrest a loved one I’m mad that I even cried I’m comin to grips with shit I minimized Figure I should do it before twenty five x2 Stomach ill from all the pills gettin the belt after dinner for not eating all my meal They diagnosed me and peeled like prescriptions all in one no coping skills with this deal Im comin to grips with shit I minimized Figured I should do it before twenty fivex2 I think the people who hurt me the most remind me of home And I gotta stop going back home to build my own
3.
Would you love me if I’m rich Would you hate me if I’m down If you love me when I spend I’d spare no amount I’d spare no amount am I social cus I moved? Matter fact bitch I’m anxious talkin to you Matter fact bitch I hate crowded rooms I love to be heard but I hate to be in view spent my life round strangers Ask you my favorite color you couldn’t name it New home every three years whats stable? New me every three years I’m still changing The moment I feel at home the shits taken Now I’m scared of isolation My earliest shit was searching for validation Let my worth match youre budget Tell ‘em to kick rocks? I’d rather kick the bucket x2 Would you love me if I’m rich Would you hate me if I’m down If you love me when I spend I’d spare no amount x2
4.
My mental health got me questioning my sanity Choose a vibe for the day is it depressed numb or panicky Lay in bed until I’m late for work staring at my phone like distractions gon erase the hurt Compare myself til I’m minimized Spit in the face of that man in the mirror I aint shaved since late July But Lets just act like I’m doing fine Is it failure or is it zenith I press these questions in my head they wake me when I’m sleeping Wasted time chasing food can’t believe I ain’t eating The weight of all the what ifs will break me every evening I’m on a trip in my living room shit Cop a zip come to grips with what I’ve lived through I been on the edge just one more push might make a break through you lived what I lived just one more push might fucking break you Got me questioning my sanity Bracing for the hurricane got a notebook for a canopy Got me questioning my sanity Too many leaches in this bitch Man I found some in my family Empathys earned on the first Life’s a buffet but I can’t pay what the plates are worth Blame my existence like i asked for birth Blame my existence like i asked for birth Got me questioning my sanity Choose a vibe for the day is it depressed numb or panicky I’m still questioning my sanity Bracing for the hurricane got a notebook for a canopy
5.
new skill 01:09
I got These tired eyes That so badly wanna see my dreams got this bruised ego that finds problems within everything I’d gladly take the fame but only if respect with it be in law school right now if a bigger check did it Can’t make rap into a sandwich But I go ham cus I’m famished Eating off the bread I can manage might starve before fall I’m nawing on the canvas A few pills prescribed by the psych doctor Bro that’s a… Don’t ask me for help I don’t give a fuck Y’all fucked me when I was fucked so fuckin deal w ur fuckin up Von voyage hoe dont excuse me for my French Im finally in the game sip that water on the bench There’s no prize when you survive I hope I find one in the end Hope I don’t look back and still think that life’s a bitch
6.
runtz 01:46
Just Say action and watch the stunts I don’t ever feel the pressure lil bitch I’m smoking runts Hit the backwood do some dubs I Always show the difference from what it is to what it was stuck a toe in the waters now ya whole leg freezing I been swimming in this bitch for a god damn season Collect info and gossip yall Cold War beefing Ill Deliver to your doorstep and send subs cheesing This a perfect stage for acting up Lights camera action shootin sequels get directors cuts Darwin how the bars win you ain’t better your irrelevant Survived inside the circus big stepping like an elephant Mello-yellow but I’ll yell abit Climbing to the top and you ain’t coming like you cellebit My city making felons quick the system failed us all They pass the ball and we keep playing catch Manifest what I said talk becomes virtue Rotate the ball of the pen watch me spin circles When I’m back in up in the Benz I know the heinsight gonna hurt you From Where they keep a 38 and enough product there to serve you You Better be awake for all damage that this verse do I’ll tell you when to sleep I set the bar and the curfew You better be awake for all the damage that this verse do I’ll tell you when to sleep I set the bar and the… Just Say action and watch the stunts I don’t ever feel the pressure lil bitch I’m smoking runts Hit the backwood do some dubs I Always show the difference from what it is to what it was
7.
My hands hold my head i know my neck can’t hold my body She holds me while I cry I hold her back and say I’m sorry Put evertthing on hold i let that bottle hold me hostage Hold a lighter to my lips i held the bottom of my pockets Can’t get a hold on my life clawing on the edge I hold my breath and wait for light Can’t get a hold on my life clawing on the edge I hold my breath and wait for light My hands hold my head i know my neck can’t hold my body She holds me while I cry I hold her back and say I’m sorry Put evertthing on hold i let that bottle hold me hostage Hold a lighter to my lips i held the bottom of my pockets Hold me please hold me forever Let it hold me even tighter when I can’t hold myself together Hold me please hold me forever Let it hold me even tighter when I can’t hold myself together
8.
Need retribution for my confidence I been down so long I deserve to be a narcissist Out here fucking broke like the shit my dads condom did sayin… Noone asked for this shit But we give it all we have so we can brag for a bit I put pen to a pad til my taxes exempt Lord knows they’ll let you rot til you pay for preservatives Silicone in they titties and a vote for conservatives Click like for the bouguea Build the pedestal for new gods Fetishize the rich while they pretend they’re like you are Aren’t they so relatable In cars we can’t afford with bodies that’s unattainable It makes me wonder what’s the worth of an artist Not the worth of celebrity but a verse from the starving They’re writing for a market I’m writing to be honest whats retribution for my confidence They sell you a dream like success is just common sense living through a screen I wanna be heard but they need me to be seen Damn if I gotta fuckin do that I’ll make my own way and tell these bitches all to move back This retribution for my confidence I’ll take my chump change and proudly fucking pocket it This retribution for my confidence I been so down I deserve to be a narcissist My confidence is retribution When a man go ape shit that’s evolution Spliff in the morning, with some pressed juices This job got me sitting at a desk clueless Improve-every time the pen move Make the best music I can Swinging at bat, I was slinging that pack For a old pair of retros, bringing that back King of that trap, only speaking on facts Im a needle in a haystack, scheming on wax slick talk like a politician it’s a lot to handle he ain’t even wanna listen I was stuck in the wrong position, felt like the longest mission Spark ignitions, flow like Ferrari engines I never had time for it... product of my environment-who you calling victim nigga My time now, see the clock tick different Check the box score, know it struck pain in the ops core To see me winning, easy finish The way I storm capital, I could breach the senate Your speech is timid, flawless-he diminish Green incentive, laugh like an evil villain Run up in his crib like a thief, I’ma creep Write my name on the wall, you can see he did it Ima cheat sheet hip hop encyclopedia, all bogus I don’t like the media I know we all wish our lives were easier But what do I know? I’m a motherfucking narcissist
9.
happy or apathy I can’t tell the difference I’d have to look at ends and means to see that image What option was better Never said This is great It’s like lm selling sweaters When it’s a hundred and thirty eight just tryna do what I love Would You still have the dream if You knew what it was Would you be where I be with no sound of buzz Probably postin online like man i give up You do you though Way Back in 06 I was writin in a notepad Same one I would go to use for my first raps And I ain’t even gon lie to you man that shits trash But it gave me what I ain’t have EBT fillin my stomach Back and forth to homes where I never felt wanted Kept my eyes to the floor and my head near a summit Told myself break a leg came off stage with some crutches Hopped on a high horse told that bitch get to runnin I Had to find a mount when they said I was nothing Just surviving the drought kept my tear ducts flooded I put… my life in this pen And if I lived another life I would do it again For sleepless nights nightmares that won’t end You ain’t gotta believe that Imma cop me a Benz I’m just sewing another sweater Around those who do the same And I know it makes me better Cus I know the ways I’ve changed Yeah I know it makes me better Cus I know the ways I’ve changed Break me down fill me up with empty promises You scared of failure so you by mine commenting We teach our kids that happiness comes with profiting more than half of mine was found while processing I saw memories in off keys Scream im on a roll spit a verse that was off beat Didn’t matter what it did for me You only askin if it’s gettin cheese I understand your concerns But you aren’t here to talk I found a spot for my words when ashes become ash it don’t matter what I earned Still sewing another sweater Around those who do the same And I know it makes me better Cus I know the ways I’ve changed Yeah I know it makes me better Cus I know the ways I’ve changed
10.
windowsill 01:14
I want you to watch me like I’m paint drying Notice me like the dust behind your fridge I find it too easy for me to stay silent I fear the others might know that I exist I’m a fly on the wall no one can bug me been hurt by spread arms no one can touch me Love me or not I won’t let you love me Give me your thoughts they’ll give me nothing Imma isolate fuck it bro I don’t need a mate I need forty proof and a seat lets inebriate Don’t have to look my demons in the eye if I aint seeing straight I wish I was a fly just existing on the day to day Let me die on your windowsill without a name Let me die on your windowsill without a name

credits

released May 30, 2022

produced by siknaste and osiris
engineered by siknaste

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Corey Loveless Ithaca, New York

Corey loveless is a Upstate NY Hip-Hop artist who’s introspective and versatile music provides a personal peek into the unique perspective that his life has provided him.

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